1. |
Books and Cameras
04:08
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Waking up every morning
To the sound of my own tears
I’m not dreaming anymore
I’m sinking through the years
Books upon the table
I was so naïve
Film is in the camera
I never thought you’d leave
I don’t want to go outside
I’m scared of who I’ll meet
If they look me in the eyes
I’ll break down at their feet
Books upon the table
I was so naïve
Film is in the camera
I never thought you’d leave
Waiting for the darkness
Let the sun burn out
It’s not getting easier
Living with this pain
The sun it mocks me from the sky
And I’m praying it might rain.
Books upon the table
I was so naïve
Film is in the camera
I never thought you’d leave
Waiting for the darkness
Let the sun burn out
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2. |
God's Will
03:04
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The guide to behavior
Is up on the wall
Rule number one:
Don’t be a dick
Saint Joe
said it best of all
to lead a good life
don’t be a dick
Sitting and staring
As the leaves are changing
Putting on
My bravest face
A tap on the shoulder
It’s time to go
All the fear
I’ve got to erase
He said to me
You’ve got my sympathy
But maybe this
was meant to be
She said to me
She’d pray for me
And all of this
Was meant to be
If this is God’s will
He can fuck right off
The guide to behavior
Is up on the wall
Rule number one:
Don’t be a dick
Saint Joe
said it best of all
to lead a good life
don’t be a dick
Sitting and staring
As the leaves are changing
Putting on
My bravest face
A tap on the shoulder
It’s time to go
All the anger
I’ve got to erase
He said to me
You’ve got my sympathy
But maybe this
was meant to be
She said to me
She’d pray for me
And all of this
Was meant to be
If this is God’s will
He can fuck right off
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3. |
Bottle of Pills
02:22
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I’ve got a bottle of pills
That I’ve got to hide
Just to stay alive
Stay alive
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4. |
Scuba Lessons
02:22
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Sitting here thinking
Thinking about the ceiling fan
I’m sitting here thinking
Will it hold my weight?
It might be might be
Too late to start now
I might be might be
Too far down
It’s likely likely
I’m all alone
It’s likely likely
I’m gonna drown
Too late to start now
Too far down
I’m all alone now
I’m gonna drown
Too far down
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5. |
Survivor's Guilt
03:59
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Another season
Another year
Another day proves
That I’m still here
Another sunset
Another dawn
Another day that
I’m supposed to carry on
It doesn’t make it any easier
All the beauty in the world
Why do I get to be here?
Why is mine the voice that’s heard?
Another season
Another year
Another day proves
That I’m still here
Another sunset
Another dawn
Another day that
I’m supposed to carry on
It doesn’t make it any easier
All the laughter in the world
Why do I get to hear it?
Why is mine the voice that’s heard?
I’ve done nothing to deserve
All the blessings of the day
I’ve done nothing to deserve
All the blessings of the day
Why do I get to be here?
Why am I the one who hears it?
Why do I get to see it?
Why is mine the voice that’s heard?
Another season
Another year
Another day proves
That I’m still here
Another sunset
Another dawn
Another day that
I’m supposed to carry on
It doesn’t make it any easier
All this beauty in the world
Why do I get to see it?
Why is mine the voice that’s heard?
I’ve done nothing to deserve
All the blessings of the day
I’ve done nothing to deserve
All the blessings of the day
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6. |
Trigger Warning
04:08
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I got a letter from a friend that I know
She was a lover a long, long time ago
She told me things that I didn’t want to know
Let the pain that’s crushing her soul
(she said) You know that I’ve been thinking
And I think I might be sinking
Every loss just pulls a trigger
And the pain just keeps getting bigger
Every loss pulls that trigger
And my grief just keeps getting bigger
It’s a trigger
For buried grief
And this grief
Is gonna bury me
My chest is tight and I can’t breathe
So come see me before you leave
Cos I don’t want to hear that you’re gone
Don’t want to write another dead friend song
No, I don’t want to hear that you’re gone
Don’t want to write another dead friend song.
It’s a trigger
For buried grief
And this grief
Is gonna bury me
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7. |
Fading Away
02:49
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All of my friends
Are fading away
I thought they’d be here
I thought they’d be here to stay
Everyone knows
I’m falling apart
It’s just too much pain
For this broken heart
Fading Away
Fading Away
I’m trying to get through
The best I can
And if you were here
I know you’d understand
I try to be strong
I know that they are
But caffeine and pills
Can only go so far
Fading Away
Fading Away
All of my friends
Are fading away
I thought they’d be here
I thought they’d be here to stay
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8. |
Pictures of Planes
04:10
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Lashing the pieces of my heart
Laid out on the window sill
I’m trying to get back to the start
Holding tight to keep me still
I thought I was right
When I knew it was wrong
Try to make the words
Line up in the song
And I thought it was day
When I knew it was night
Can’t make it stop
Can’t set things right
I’m praying you’ll save me from myself
I’m so tired of being me
I’m laughing there ain’t nobody else
I’m a sinking ship alone at sea
I thought I was right
When I knew it was wrong
Try to make the words
Line up in the song
And I thought it was day
When I knew it was night
Can’t make it stop
Can’t set things right
I’m shaking. It’s tearing me apart
Like the wind blowing through the fields
I’m waiting. The flight’s about to start
Take a picture, make it real
I thought I was right
When I knew it was wrong
Try to make the words
Line up in the song
And I thought it was day
When I knew it was night
Can’t make it stop
Can’t set things right
I’m taking pictures
Pictures of the planes
It always makes me
Think of you
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9. |
Stay Positive
04:03
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I saw a photo yesterday
Of the sun shining through
I know it sounds a bit cliché
But I thought it might be you
Warming me on my shoulder
Telling me it’s OK
I gotta stay positive
So I can get through the day
I gotta stay positive
So I can get through the day
I gotta stay positive
So someday I’ll find my way
I finally got the strength to read
All the letters that you sent
Pushing through the bitter tears
For a loss that makes no sense
All the love that I feel
Never truly goes away
I gotta stay positive
So I can get through the day
I gotta stay positive
So I can get through the day
I gotta stay positive
So someday I’ll find my way
I saw a photo yesterday
Of the sun shining through
I know it sounds a bit cliché
But I thought it might be you
All the love that we feel
Never truly goes away
We’ve got to stay positive
So we can get through today
I gotta stay positive
So I can get through the day
I gotta stay positive
So someday I’ll find my way
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10. |
Lucky
04:18
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I talked to your sister
Just the other day
She’s gonna be alright
She’s gonna be OK
She’s gonna be alright
She’s gonna be OK
And I know we’ll never recover
But I’m hoping that things will get better
I feel so lucky
So god damn lucky
Lucky that I knew you
I saw your children
The other day
They’re gonna be alright
They’re gonna be OK
They’re gonna be alright
They’re gonna be OK
And I know we’ll never recover
But I’m hoping that things will get better
I feel so lucky
So god damn lucky
Lucky that I knew you
I spoke to Susan
The other day
She’s gonna be alright
She’s gonna be OK
She’s gonna be alright
I’m gonna be OK
And I know we’ll never recover
But I’m hoping that things will get better
I feel so lucky
So god damn lucky
Lucky that I knew you
But I still miss you
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What About Now Geneva, New York
Born out of a desire to document the grief experienced at the loss of a close friend. Writing songs as both documentation and catharsis. Take that pain and make some art. We love you.
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