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What About Now

by What About Now

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    The limited edition 12" vinyl release of What About Now's debut album.

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1.
Waking up every morning To the sound of my own tears I’m not dreaming anymore I’m sinking through the years Books upon the table I was so naïve Film is in the camera I never thought you’d leave I don’t want to go outside I’m scared of who I’ll meet If they look me in the eyes I’ll break down at their feet Books upon the table I was so naïve Film is in the camera I never thought you’d leave Waiting for the darkness Let the sun burn out It’s not getting easier Living with this pain The sun it mocks me from the sky And I’m praying it might rain. Books upon the table I was so naïve Film is in the camera I never thought you’d leave Waiting for the darkness Let the sun burn out
2.
God's Will 03:04
The guide to behavior Is up on the wall Rule number one: Don’t be a dick Saint Joe said it best of all to lead a good life don’t be a dick Sitting and staring As the leaves are changing Putting on My bravest face A tap on the shoulder It’s time to go All the fear I’ve got to erase He said to me You’ve got my sympathy But maybe this was meant to be She said to me She’d pray for me And all of this Was meant to be If this is God’s will He can fuck right off The guide to behavior Is up on the wall Rule number one: Don’t be a dick Saint Joe said it best of all to lead a good life don’t be a dick Sitting and staring As the leaves are changing Putting on My bravest face A tap on the shoulder It’s time to go All the anger I’ve got to erase He said to me You’ve got my sympathy But maybe this was meant to be She said to me She’d pray for me And all of this Was meant to be If this is God’s will He can fuck right off
3.
I’ve got a bottle of pills That I’ve got to hide Just to stay alive Stay alive
4.
Sitting here thinking Thinking about the ceiling fan I’m sitting here thinking Will it hold my weight? It might be might be Too late to start now I might be might be Too far down It’s likely likely I’m all alone It’s likely likely I’m gonna drown Too late to start now Too far down I’m all alone now I’m gonna drown Too far down
5.
Another season Another year Another day proves That I’m still here Another sunset Another dawn Another day that I’m supposed to carry on It doesn’t make it any easier All the beauty in the world Why do I get to be here? Why is mine the voice that’s heard? Another season Another year Another day proves That I’m still here Another sunset Another dawn Another day that I’m supposed to carry on It doesn’t make it any easier All the laughter in the world Why do I get to hear it? Why is mine the voice that’s heard? I’ve done nothing to deserve All the blessings of the day I’ve done nothing to deserve All the blessings of the day Why do I get to be here? Why am I the one who hears it? Why do I get to see it? Why is mine the voice that’s heard? Another season Another year Another day proves That I’m still here Another sunset Another dawn Another day that I’m supposed to carry on It doesn’t make it any easier All this beauty in the world Why do I get to see it? Why is mine the voice that’s heard? I’ve done nothing to deserve All the blessings of the day I’ve done nothing to deserve All the blessings of the day
6.
I got a letter from a friend that I know She was a lover a long, long time ago She told me things that I didn’t want to know Let the pain that’s crushing her soul (she said) You know that I’ve been thinking And I think I might be sinking Every loss just pulls a trigger And the pain just keeps getting bigger Every loss pulls that trigger And my grief just keeps getting bigger It’s a trigger For buried grief And this grief Is gonna bury me My chest is tight and I can’t breathe So come see me before you leave Cos I don’t want to hear that you’re gone Don’t want to write another dead friend song No, I don’t want to hear that you’re gone Don’t want to write another dead friend song. It’s a trigger For buried grief And this grief Is gonna bury me
7.
Fading Away 02:49
All of my friends Are fading away I thought they’d be here I thought they’d be here to stay Everyone knows I’m falling apart It’s just too much pain For this broken heart Fading Away Fading Away I’m trying to get through The best I can And if you were here I know you’d understand I try to be strong I know that they are But caffeine and pills Can only go so far Fading Away Fading Away All of my friends Are fading away I thought they’d be here I thought they’d be here to stay
8.
Lashing the pieces of my heart Laid out on the window sill I’m trying to get back to the start Holding tight to keep me still I thought I was right When I knew it was wrong Try to make the words Line up in the song And I thought it was day When I knew it was night Can’t make it stop Can’t set things right I’m praying you’ll save me from myself I’m so tired of being me I’m laughing there ain’t nobody else I’m a sinking ship alone at sea I thought I was right When I knew it was wrong Try to make the words Line up in the song And I thought it was day When I knew it was night Can’t make it stop Can’t set things right I’m shaking. It’s tearing me apart Like the wind blowing through the fields I’m waiting. The flight’s about to start Take a picture, make it real I thought I was right When I knew it was wrong Try to make the words Line up in the song And I thought it was day When I knew it was night Can’t make it stop Can’t set things right I’m taking pictures Pictures of the planes It always makes me Think of you
9.
I saw a photo yesterday Of the sun shining through I know it sounds a bit cliché But I thought it might be you Warming me on my shoulder Telling me it’s OK I gotta stay positive So I can get through the day I gotta stay positive So I can get through the day I gotta stay positive So someday I’ll find my way I finally got the strength to read All the letters that you sent Pushing through the bitter tears For a loss that makes no sense All the love that I feel Never truly goes away I gotta stay positive So I can get through the day I gotta stay positive So I can get through the day I gotta stay positive So someday I’ll find my way I saw a photo yesterday Of the sun shining through I know it sounds a bit cliché But I thought it might be you All the love that we feel Never truly goes away We’ve got to stay positive So we can get through today I gotta stay positive So I can get through the day I gotta stay positive So someday I’ll find my way
10.
Lucky 04:18
I talked to your sister Just the other day She’s gonna be alright She’s gonna be OK She’s gonna be alright She’s gonna be OK And I know we’ll never recover But I’m hoping that things will get better I feel so lucky So god damn lucky Lucky that I knew you I saw your children The other day They’re gonna be alright They’re gonna be OK They’re gonna be alright They’re gonna be OK And I know we’ll never recover But I’m hoping that things will get better I feel so lucky So god damn lucky Lucky that I knew you I spoke to Susan The other day She’s gonna be alright She’s gonna be OK She’s gonna be alright I’m gonna be OK And I know we’ll never recover But I’m hoping that things will get better I feel so lucky So god damn lucky Lucky that I knew you But I still miss you

about

The long-awaited debut album from your favorite griefcore band. A ten-song statement of love and loss.

On Saturday, July 14, 2018, one of my closest friends, Alex Hayden, was killed by a drunk driver in a hit-and-run incident. That’s him on the back cover. The news was devastating to me. I’d lost friends before, but this one was overwhelming. A few months later, when I spoke at his memorial service, I was still in shock. Having to deliver a eulogy made his loss so very real. In the following weeks, I started writing a batch of songs that documented my grief as well as that of his friends and family. I asked my friend Scott to play guitar and share vocal duties, and Joe agreed to play drums despite his numerous other band commitments. They helped flesh the songs out. We started playing the set out live. The response was great, but every performance was an emotional drain on me. It felt like I was pulling my soul through a meat grinder each time. We had planned to go into the studio to record the album in summer 2020, but thanks to Covid, that process took a lot longer. So here it is. I call it ‘griefcore.’ We appreciate you taking the time to listen. Take care and hold your loved ones tight. xo kevin

credits

released June 4, 2023

What About Now:
Kevin Dunn: bass, vocals
Scott Ostrowski: guitars, vocals
Joe Calabrese: drums
Recorded by: Brady Leo, Scott Ostrowski and Kevin Dunn
Mixed by: Scott Ostrowski
Mastered by: Dave Williams

Lyrics by: Kevin Dunn
Music by: Kevin Dunn, Scott Ostrowski and Joe Calabrese
All photos by: Alex Hayden
All songs copyright: Kevin Dunn, Scott Ostrowski, Joe Calabrese

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What About Now Geneva, New York

Born out of a desire to document the grief experienced at the loss of a close friend. Writing songs as both documentation and catharsis. Take that pain and make some art. We love you.

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